Savoring These Last Adolescent Years

I'm sixteen. It feels like yesterday I was playing with my tomagatchi imagining myself in high-school living my best life with a luxury car, a cliche popular friend group, parties every Saturday night, and the 2000's teenage dream. I'm a teenager and these years are supposedly suppose to be one of the best times of your life. And I'm worried that I'm not living my youthful years as best as I possibly can. Mainly, I'm worried that I'm running out of time before I have to drown in student debt and a low credit score with no time management skills. It's crazy to think that I'm closer to graduating than I am from when I began to embark into my journey of high school. My life flashed before my eyes and now I have to know what career I want to pursue, what colleges I want to apply to, and become the independent women that I feel pressured into becoming by society. Is it bad that I just want to savor these last couple of years and not have to worry about any of this? Of course I have to take these things into consideration I basically have no choice however, I'm still figuring life overall out. I'm in this stage in my life where I'm preparing for the "real world" while I'm still curious about things and struggling to find my identity. I'm just worried that I'm going to be missing out on so many opportunities as a kid that we will only experience as a child. I still feel like there's something missing in my life and I need to figure out why I feel that way. I don't know what exactly is missing I just know for a fact that there's something that I need to find/gain in order to feel complete and move forward into transitioning towards adulthood. You have such little time to live your childhood years and I wish I realized that back when I was already wanting to live the mature future I envisioned. As I look back at my 5 year old self, I was filled with so much imagination, creativity, and I enjoyed wanting to learn more. I was wide-eyed and I still am today. It's not like that anymore of course. You grow older and you grow out of things that's just the way growing up works. You're only a kid for a small portion of time and I was constantly reminded by wise people that I need to really live in the moment during these years. This past year I had football season/marching band events almost every single day- solo at pop show for choir, went to homecoming with a date, joined cultural extravaganza, became apart of the Sinigang/tinkikling group, performed with two of my good friends as "DMC" with a trio performance, Joined Model UN representing Malaysia, joined the Dreamgirls Musical, almost made it to State-Band with 1 chair away in area, made a lot of friends, gained new friendships.. I had a great year. Minus the part that my grades plummeting because of how I was prioritizing extra-curricular. Now that Corona decided to take over the world, nothing will be the same for a while and once this all blows over, I'll already bean adult. I just want to make as much memories as possible and time is running out. I'm almost at the end of the finish line of adolescence. I know I'm only sixteen and I'm sounding overly dramatic but that's what's been going around in my mind lately. I just want to live freely with the youth that I have now. I don't have a future plan I'm just going with the flow at this point. So what if I'm reckless? It's not like I'll have a second chance at being a kid anyway.